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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Surprise, Surprise: Smoking Weed Helps Heroin Users Kick Their Addiction

12/3/2015

3 Comments

 
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Metro- Smoking weed helps patients give up opiates such as heroin, a new study has found.

Researchers at Columbia University monitored patients undergoing treatment for opiate addiction – and found that patients who smoked weed were more able to sleep, less anxious, and more likely to complete their course.

The researchers also found that dosing patients with dronabinol – a drug consisting of the ‘active’ ingredient in cannabis, THC – helped with withdrawal symptoms.

The study authors said, ‘One of the interesting study findings was the observed beneficial effect of marijuana smoking on treatment retention.

‘Participants who smoked marijuana had less difficulty with sleep and anxiety and were more likely to remain in treatment as compared to those who were not using marijuana, regardless of whether they were taking dronabinol or placebo.’



​It's times like this that I wish I remembered my 6th grade health teacher's name. She deserves to be addressed personally when stories like this show up on the internet. Now granted, the only reason I don't is because she was a miserable human being that I tried to block out of my memory forever. Still, the point remains that Ms. McKay(?) (definitely unmarried, no shock there) deserves a big, fat "suck it" (totally facetiously because she was hideous). 

Gateway drug my ass. Only if that gateway led to a heroin free lifestyle. Thanks a lot Branchburg school systems. Maybe put away the black lung for like three seconds and make sure your students don't develop a black tar heroin addiction? After all, that's becoming like a freakishly common problem amongst suburban teenagers these days. Not really sure why kids have decided to stick fucking needles in their arm instead of smoking a little pot like normal rebels, but that's the reality of the situation. Maybe if Ms. Granny-Panties would have done a little research the youth of America wouldn't be experiencing a fucking dope epidemic. She made us swear off marijuana so that we wouldn't end up shaking feverishly in an alley somewhere, and in doing do so she basically denounced the only cure for shaking feverishly in an alley somewhere. So what that weed makes you overeat and say stupid things, at least it doesn't leave you with track marks so bad that you can never again feel comfortable wearing a short sleeve shirt.

Saying that pot leads to heroin is like saying that grinding at a middle school dance leads to prostitution, when in reality the exact opposite is true. Maybe if hookers got a little more attention as kids they wouldn't be selling their bodies to the same people that swore off weed and ended up dependent on smack. See what I just did there? We've got teachers trying to nip drug use in the bud when that bud is what ultimately deters more serious drug use. What's next, we start telling kids that alcohol is bad for them and they end up chugging bleach in their parents basement? You have got to concede some vices, so why not start with marijuana, the drug that is more likely to make you eat cake and fall asleep than develop the itch for a high anxiety drug like heroin?
3 Comments
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