Let's set the scene...
Amusement park. Friday. Around 4PM. About an hour into a approximately a 75 minute line for a roller coaster. About 10 minutes into a 15 minute wait while the coaster was being maintenanced for technical difficulties. A man. His two children. Patiently waiting. His wife. Barreling through the entire line to tell him that he can do what he wants, but she is not letting her children go on the ride because it is unsafe. It was at this moment when said father was put into a lose lose situation. The unstable confines of the "you can do what you want" paradox. As his family quickly got out of line I could see a bead of sweat trickle from his forehead. His knees buckling underneath his khaki shorts from the weight of the decision. Get out of line, having wasted an entire hour waiting in the sun, with your balls firmly in your wife's hand, in front of entire line of judgmental people, or ride it out and worry about it later. You know why this man is currently having a terrible Easter? Because he did the right thing. It's well known that in relationships you have to pick your battles. However, this man had to take a stand, and as he tucked in his polo and hiked up his dad shorts, take a stand is exactly what he did. That coaster isn't safe enough for the kids you father, but it's safe enough for you. Your life's worth was fulfilled after you dropped a few seeds in her freshly ovulating vagina. You were merely a sperm donor. She just said all those things without actually saying them. Bet you would have saved some money on a ring and marriage ceremony if you knew all she needed was a couple of unborn babies. Is that 15 seconds of pure thrill, going 0 to 60 faster than you can blink, worth the months of misery that decision just bought him? Nope, but it never is. If men only fought back when it was worth the ensuing argument we would have to trade in our spines to pay for our penal reattachments. I bet you part of him wishes he died on that ride. Sure, it would mean his wife was right, but at least he wouldn't have to be around to hear about it. What's the worse outcome, hating yourself for getting out of line, or hating your wife for making you look like the bad guy? If I wait an hour for anything I am doing said thing. Maybe I was more patient as a child, but waiting in those lines on Friday was one of the most painful experiences of my life. If I had someone that was supposed to my companion in holy matrimony attempting to make that experience for naught I would resent her more than the thousand of annoying kids cluttering my airspace. P.S. Shame on the kids too. Two boys that put up no fight. Just succumbed to their mother's wishes. Not even a whimper or a "I want to say with Dad". A whole family rivaled against it's patriarch. Wish I could I have pulled him aside for a beer before sending him into the Lion's den covered in antelope blood.
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