Taylor Hall Went YARD During Toronto Blue Jays Batting Practice, And Is It October Yet?!?
You see the bend in those tree trunks? The weight transfer in those breakaway bearing hips? The unexpected power emanating from those otherwise soft hands? Wooooo-eeee! I need to see that man on the ice like I need air to breathe. Like I need just onnnnne more beer at last call. Like I need that second slice of mediocre pizza to throughly wash down said beer. I'm not sure I can wait another second for that whiplash inducing speed that - to put it mildly - has been absent from the lineup to come screaming down the wing and snap my head so violently back into my seat that I'll be watching the home opener in a neck brace. I don't know who was holding the phone and taping this but I couldn't have said it better myself. "Oooh sheeeeeeit" is right. The pop off that bat was so shocking I'm pretty sure it made my guts bubble. Quite a contrast to the simultaneous fluttering of my heart. Taylor Hall, with one swing of the lumber, just made me feel all the feelings. Lord knows I'll need one of those handheld fans to keep me from fainting when he laces them up and starts playing a sport I actually care about. Game breaking ability back in New Jersey? I'm going to need an unlimited Xanax prescription to get through this season without having to make a Taylor Hall related hospital trip and you can bet your ass I'll be all smiles in the ambulance.
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