Oh shit! Somebody call the burn unit! No insult stings more than the truth. Oh, you DID play tennis Mrs. Chair Umpire? WRONG ANSWER. You probably weren't very good!!! I don't know how she fit it into her tiny little tennis skirt, but she's had that one in her back pocket for awhile now.
All in all, I'm given this ump bashing a 'C+'. If it were a man it would get a 'D', but everyone knows women are terrible at insulting other women unless they happen to be close friends with them and/or aren't in the same room as them. She really overcame the odds set forth by her chromosomal makeup just to zing her with some half decent wit. Would have bumped up the grade to a 'B' if she had said the same exact thing is a R-rated, or at least PG-13, manner, but alas, she's a female tennis player that has to uphold her lady-like image. Kind of annoying to be honest, because a "you must have fucking SUCKED" would have fit in flawlessly right there. Regardless, the set up was perfect, the apparently subpar umpire took the bait, and the response time was pretty impeccable as well. Her only regret should be that she didn't have a microphone so she could have dropped it before heading back to her side of the court. Might be back on the tennis train if they keep it up with with these risqué comments. Every sport becomes more entertaining when you incorporate a little bit of trash talk, even if it is mild mannered. On second thought, I am pretty sure telling someone, even if it is an umpire, that they aren't good at tennis during a match is like the female tennis player equivalent of telling them their significant other is a cheating whore. Maybe I should have curved the final grade...