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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Texas A&M Coach Kevin Sumlin Accidentally Made A Joke On Twitter About Steve Sarkisian Being A Drunk

8/31/2015

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Okay, so maybe "accidentally" is the wrong word. He absolutely intended to make a joke at the expense of one of his college football peers. He just meant to send it to A person instead of ALL the people. Pretty simple mistake. I would go as far as saying that if Kevin Sumlin is guilty of anything it's being an old guy that misuses social media. For anyone that has parents on Facebook, they certainly know how that story ends. 

Regardless, I am not going to sit here and say that Sumlin was wrong for making sport of Sarkisian. When you get drunk and do stupid shit you allow people to develop inside jokes about you. That's just how life works. I had a tendency to get too drunk and pass out at bars. You think I started whining when that became known as "pulling a Bob" or when a select few began to call me "Sleepy"? Nope. You want to pop a bunch of pills and wash them down with a little too much liquor then everyone is allowed to make fun of you when you start acting like a jackass. I don't know if Steve Sarkisian has a legitimate alcohol problem or not, but even if he does, this tweet isn't in poor taste. Alcoholism is just one of those diseases that people feel okay laughing at. That's probably because a large majority of us have had it, to varying degrees of course. It's like a black guy laughing at a black joke as long as a black guy tells it. I won't laugh at a heroine addiction because I've never been addicted to heroine. I have, however, been a borderline alcoholic so belligerent drunks will always be worth a laugh. 

I've had a little too much to drink from time to time. You've had a little too much to drink from time to time. Just because Steve Sarkisian has no will power and the increments between those times are increasingly smaller doesn't mean that I have to bite my tongue when someone gets clever with his name on social media. If we are being honest, I would say about 30% of nicknames are developed based on how someone acts when they are fucked up, and all things considered, 'Sark After Dark' is a pretty sweet catchphrase. If this whole sobriety thing doesn't work out it could make a hell of a name for a sequel to Dave Attell's 'Insomniac' after he gets canned at USC.
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