Texas Students Held A Pro-Farting Rally To Combat The Mock Mass Shooting On The Other Side Of Campus
Chron- Pro-gun demonstrators staging a mock mass shooting near the University of Texas at Austin on Saturday were overwhelmed in number and ferocity by a large group of counter-protesters wielding dildos and machines that generated fart sounds.
"This isn't about guns necessarily. This is about scaring our community. This is about a choice between fear and a little bit of good humor," Andrew Dobbs, a UT alumnus who organized the "mass farting" counter-protest, told the crowd. "We are in a scary time right now and lots of scary things are happening, and some people want us to be more afraid."
"I choose to believe that fear is not the solution to the threat of our time. That laughing in the face of fear is a courageous act and toting a gun around everywhere you go, maybe not so much," he added. "When you come to my community, to the university that I love, and you threaten the lives of my friends, what I have to say is, I'm going to fart in your face!"
The group of around 100 counter protesters shouted "Texas farts!" and "We fart in your general direction" as they marched down Guadalupe Street in Austin to meet members of Come and Take It Texas and DontComply.com who were staging the mock shooting across the street from the All Saints' Episcopal Church.
"On the other side of campus, the mock mass shooting happened. You don't get a time and place, you don't get a flier or an invitation for a true mass shooting. They happen unannounced," said Pizgatti. "And the response time for the police to get over here was well after the event took place. That also illustrates the point of these gun-free zones. You must protest yourself. You must be armed."
Open carry of any deadly weapons will remain illegal at all institutions of higher learning, however, and K-12 schools, hospitals and several other locations across the state will continue to be designated gun-free zones after the new laws go into effect.
The mock mass shooting, which he billed as a protest meant to reveal the dangers of gun-free zones, quickly went viral after being announced on Facebook last week. The response from the UT community and other Austinites was swift and humorous.
I know what you are thinking. That can't be a real headline. Well, I would like to remind you that this is Texas we are talking about, and I assure you, know matter how dumb the cause, in 2015 there is a group of people on a college campus out there ready to defend it. Anyway, we can discuss the effectiveness of a pro-farting rally later, but first I want to touch on how bad of an idea it is to hold a "mock mass shooting".
This "shooting" is over, right? Everyone survived? Okay good, because that was the dumbest fucking idea ever. You know what environment is most conducive to a REAL mass shooting? An environment of fabricated hysteria. God dammit people, watch 'CSI' one time in your life. If you wanted to shoot a bunch of people, why wouldn't you patiently wait for the moment that everyone was going to be running around pretending they were being shot at? At the very least that buys you a few extra minutes of confusion when bystanders are convinced that innocent victims are just fantastic performers. Everyone knows that rallying for a cause will always bring out a couple of people that are vehemently against that cause as well. All you needed was one homicidal idiot that felt his deep seated fantasy was being mocked, because it was, to get proactive and disprove the entire basis of the protest by blowing it straight to hell.
Listen, to the rational mind, holding a pro-farting rally really does highlight the stupidity of a mock mass shooting. However, the group of people we are talking about aren't rational thinking. These are people that are recreating tragic crime scenes to somehow show that a bunch drunk college students are SAFER when MORE firearms are around. If they were an open-minded bunch then the thought of a mock mass shooting being counterproductive would have already crossed their mind. Sure, I can get a laugh out of a fart friendly gathering and you can get a laugh out of a fart friendly gathering, but the people holding the college version of a civil war reenactment undoubtedly cannot. Meeting the hostile with humor, that they likely don't see the sarcasm in, is not going to end well, especially when the hostile want nothing more than to freely carry their guns around campus. So maybe, just maybe, let's let these idiots make asses out of themselves in peace, because giving them an opposition only encourages them more.