If I really wanted to make this piece as informative as possible then I would scour the internet for a bunch of anecdotes from people who knew Dr. John J. McMullen personally. I would dig a little deeper into the past of the man that Ken Daneyko recently described as having the all-too-rare combination of a white collar bank account and a blue collar personality. Ah, who am I kidding? If I really wanted to turn this into some overly factual acknowledgement of the late, great former owner of the New Jersey Devils then I would just copy and paste a bunch of psuedo-reliable crap from WikiPedia. I really have no interest in doing that though. Partially because it's ridiculously disingenuous, but mostly because everyone reading this has the internet and can do it themselves. That's why I'll just stuck with what I do know...
I know that I was born a New Jersey Devils' fan. I know that by the time I graduated elementary school a Devils' playoff berth was a foregone conclusion. I know that I was in attendance for two Stanley Cup Championships before the first time I had sex and a third before the person I was having sex with came anywhere close to climaxing. I know I was spoiled rotten by experiencing a millenium's worth of once-in-a-lifetime moments before I was even old enough to drink overpriced beer in an effort to enhance them. I know that everything I just stated wouldn't have been remotely possible without one man following through on his dream to bring professional hockey to New Jersey.
So thank you, Dr. John J. McMullen, for throwing caution to the wind and scoffing at the idea of a crowded market. Forgive me for being young, dumb, and full of cum when you were still with us, but rest eternally knowing that the legion of fans in attendance tonight - as you become the first member of the 'Devils' Ring Of Honor' - couldn't be more grateful for all that you made possible. I'll leave the more thorough praise to the people who are educated enough to heap it, but rest assured that even the idiots that were celebrating Stanley Cups before they knew how hard they were to come by now know how lucky they were that you came before them. This induction might not get the same reaction as a banner raising or jersey retirement, but I'll be damned if the person it's in honor of wasn't solely responsible for making every historical acccomplishment and ceremonial night a reality.
P.S. The patches are FLAWLESS...
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