The Amount Of Bug Spray That Hope Solo Brought To Rio Is All The Incentive I Need To Scratch Rio Off The Bucket List

If anyone in the village forgets to pack repellent, come and see me...#DeptOfDefense #zikaproof pic.twitter.com/x8RdUV6M7c

— Hope Solo (@hopesolo) July 22, 2016

I have a very steadfast rule. I don't want to act like it's a longstanding rule because I literally just made it up upon seeing this picture, but I'm pretty sure it's got quite the shelf life ahead of it. Here goes: If I don't feel comfortable going somewhere without bug spray then I do NOT want to go to that place. I am not talking about events where only the always prepared planner of the group shows up with bug spray just in case. I am talking about events where a group text gets sent around making sure someone is responsible for bringing the bug spray. Come to think of it, I don't hang around with campers and/or overprotective mothers so I'm almost positive I have never been in such a situation, but luckily - thanks to my new rule - I will never have to be.

Whether or not I would change my mind if I were capable of competing athletically against the best the world had to offer is up for debate, but I believe the fact that the insects in question could potentially kill me balances out that hypothetical. I just have a hard time dealing with bugs when I know all they are threatening me with is perpetual annoyance and an unsightly skin bump. I can't imagine I would have the ability to stay sane if I had to intentionally make myself smell like a walking cloud of ass multiple times a day only to leave my room more paranoid of mosquitoes than Donald Trump is of any darker skinned person that doesn't have a mop in their hand. Thanks but no thanks. Those 4 years will surely go quickly, and not spending a few weeks fighting off flying epidemics should go a long way in making sure I will be alive for all of them. 

P.S. If fate were an actual thing then the women's soccer player that got nothing more than a stern talking to after she committed residential violence on the entirety of her family would contract Zika. I know we're really fighting the odds here considering she's going to bathe in 'Off', but if any bitch can get revenge it's Karma.

P.P.S. People don't forget about a lot of things, but "seeing Hope Solo's disgusting vagina during the Fappening" has to be every overly intrusive pervert's #1.