Come on in Major League Baseball! Get in on the fun! Help yourself to some party favors! The drug of choice is instant replay, and - when it comes to viewing the most mundane aspects of game footage from professional sports through a microscope - everyone is chopping it up and OD'ing on it! Take as much as you need to get your fix, because - if the NHL's unpredictable judgements on goaltender interference and the NFL's dubious definition of a catch are any indication - there's more than enough slowed-down camera angles available in compromising the integrity of sports that weren't meant to be decided by a matter of completely inconsequential inches. I suppose I understand that this rare case would have needed to play out in all its ingloriousness for the people with the power to change the rule to realize how goddamn stupid said rule is. However, now that it actually has and a player had his first dinger of the season dinged from the stat sheet due to his teammate's inability to perceive depth, we're all in agreement though, right? There's no baseball nerds out there arguing about the blessedness of the base paths when the ball isn't even the goddamn park anymore, correct? Something in sports being universally agreed upon is about as rare as stumbling upon a truly objective fan in the wild, but for the sake of my sanity I just want to believe that no one is so blind to baseball's flaws that they can't see the absurdity in calling someone out on a hit that couldn't have been caught by someone with Hakeem Olajuwon's wingspan. I mean, surely there were quite a few losers that proudly well, actually'd one of the most exciting feats in the sport when the player who went yard got one step ahead of himself in fulfilling the empty obligation of rounding the diamond, but can we please ignore their pleas to stick to antiquated traditions that run completely contrary to common fucking sense?
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