The Broncos Fining Von Miller For Farting Isn't As Crazy As It Seems

PFT-Via Nicki Jhabvala of the Denver Post, linebacker Von Miller said teammates fine players for farting in meetings — and that Miller believes he has been fined the most for it.

“They can’t fine me if I get up and walk away,” Miller said. “It’s not healthy. I keep trying to tell them it’s not healthy if I just sit there and hold it in. Nobody in the world does that. I just do it more than the average person.”


I am all about a well placed fart. Those are ALWAYS funny. In fact, I think you should be fined if you can't laugh at a fart. The only thing more distracting than ripping ass is the person that gets upset and turns it into a bigger deal than it is. However, there is such thing as flooding the market. You can only go back to the well so many times. Everyone grew up with the kid that would stop at no stained undergarment to let a dastardly motherfucker go in class. It doesn't take long for that kid to go from funny to annoying. 0 to disgusting real quick. That's why it's the players fining him and not the organization. One fart is funny. Five farts is aggravating.

Let's be real. No one can pay attention when someone keeps letting out room clearing ass blasts. Does taking money out of someone's pocket seem fair for a bodily function? Of course not. However, there are only so many ways to deter the behavior of a professional athlete. In fact there is only two, playing time and money. Since Von Miller is one of the best pass rushers in the league it looks like his proclivity to brown thunder is going to have to hit him where it hurts; the wallet. If Von Miller wants to blame his diet he should get fined extra. Every red blooded America man has learned how to hold a fart in. If not we would all be virgins. As far as I am concerned a vast majority of farts are voluntary. Either squeeze those cheeks or grab the hall pass and save yourself some money Von, but I'll be damned if you're going to sit here and blame a protein filled diet.

All things considered this isn't the face of man that is comfortable with his flatulence...