The Cowboys Front Office Did The Mannequin Challenge, And It Was The Best Worst Thing I've Ever Seen
Quick question, when did mannequin videos start popping up? I want to say it was no more than like three days ago, but I already feel like I have been watching them for a year and a half. I know we - as a society - grow tired of shit excessively fast, but the practice of staying completely still while playing the same fucking song (albeit, a good song) over and over is so repetitive that it makes the 'Harlem Shake' fad seem like it had staying power. I don't think we even made it the full weekend, and I am already skipping over unoriginal mannequin videos left and right out of fear that they might ruin one of the two overplayed hits that Rae Sremmurd has somehow made an entire fucking music career out of. It seems crazy to go from "the new shit" at closing time Friday to being "played out" by the time the office opens on Monday, but I just have no interest in seeing anymore athletes frozen in time while a ridiculously catchy - and completely non-sensical - tune plays in the background.
That's why I have moved on...to watching old white people desperately attempt to recreate it as a way to relate to the people that are directly responsible for keeping them rich. Can only watch so many chiseled, shirtless black dudes rub their abdominal health in my face before watching the people that pay their bills suffer from arthritis becomes exponentially more entertaining. Seriously though, Jerry Jones' wife is like 1 shake per second away from a Parkinson's diagnosis. If you had asked me the circumstances of the video last Tuesday I would have said that the plane was grounded due to a goddamn earthquake, not that she was actively trying to remain lifeless. And she's not the only one either. Every single person looked like they blew a line and took a double shot of expresso right before filming and this video was like a full minute shorter than the rest of it's kind. That's why, as far as I am concerned, it's the best one yet. Short, sweet, and gave me the ability to laugh at senior citizens and their cringeworthy attempts at trying to stay hip. Just doesn't get an better than that.