The German Field Hockey Team Is Here To Brighten Your Monday With An Unintentional Reference To Sodomy

Meanwhile, in #Rio2016 pic.twitter.com/c3iQhm7570

— Mattie-Lou Chandler (@MattieLouOKTC) August 7, 2016

This one is for us. This one is for all of us. For every person sitting at their desk with a pounding headache after letting a summer night get the best of their sobriety. For every person attempting to look busy while failing to cure an insatiable level of boredom. For every person seeking a reason to keep their eyes open while blankly staring at a computer screen. For every person hopelessly glancing at a clock that appears to be stuck in the moment. For every person that's desperately looking for a reason to smile just so that they can fight back the tears that start to form when they think about how far away Friday is. For every person just trying to get through Monday in the least painstaking way possible. I'm sorry to remind you of that stuff that you just halfheartedly promised to never drink again with this reference, but these buds are for you!

When it comes to starting the week with a grin nothing has a better batting average than the all-too-rare sodomy reference. If two guys coming together during a connection that ended anally doesn't get get your juices going then - ironically enough - you probably have a stick too far up your ass. I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes, about halfway through the previous sentence I started to realize exactly how rife with sexually explicit puns that it was. That doesn't change the fact that the only thing funnier than butt jokes are butt sex jokes, and I - for one - appreciate these German guys taking time out from playing a primarily female sport to unintentionally provide me hope during the most hopeless time of the week. 'Butt' with the pass up the seam, and 'Fuchs' banging it home with the insanely appropriate finish. Amen.