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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

The Grizzlies Used JT To Recruit Chandler Parsons Via FaceTime Because White People Are So, So Basic

7/1/2016

2 Comments

 
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A fun part of the Grizzlies' pitch to Chandler Parsons: a FaceTime call from Memphis minority owner Justin Timberlake.

— Tim MacMahon (@espn_macmahon) July 1, 2016
Two things here...

1) Has anyone ridden the coattails of an undeserved reputation further than Chandler Parsons? I feel like he's been widely considered an upper echelon player for years now, yet the most memorable thing he has done is fail to recruit DeAndre Jordan and then incessantly whine about it for months on end. Those 13-15 points a game must be super important because he just made BANK (4 years, 94 million) off of them, but it still feels like his name supersedes his actual on court accomplishments.

2) Come on Grizzlies, could you give a lazier pitch? I know Justin Timberlake is a part owner, but using one of the "blacker" white guys in a predominantly black genre to recruit one of the "blacker" white guys in a predominantly black sport via FaceTime just seems lackadaisical. It makes perfect sense since 27 year old Chandler Parsons surely listens to JT religiously, but it still feels a little too lackluster for my liking. Couldn't you guys at least have them spend a night on the town together instead of linking them up for a virtual date where they discuss the laundry list of shit that they have in common? Feels like the owner just held up his smart phone and said "look, you guys are likkke totally two peas in a pod!". The Memphis Grizzlies basically stole a rush week tactic from Phi Gamma Delta. It obviously worked because Chandler Parsons is undoubtedly the basic-est of bitches, but it probably set caucasians that are mainstays in the African American community back at least two Eminem album releases.
2 Comments
Andrew libertt
7/2/2016 11:45:31 am

This is probably the biggest wast of interwebs time and space I've ever seen so I thought I'd take the time to stop in and say God Bless America Trump 16'#timberlakerules#yourwritingdrools

Reply
Unsportsmanlike Conduct
7/2/2016 12:33:08 pm

A Timberlake fan/Trump supporter? I didn't know unicorns could type.

Reply



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