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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

The 'ICEE' Chugging Contest Held By This Minor League Baseball Team Was As Entertaining As It Was Concerning

6/12/2017

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Our man was not going to be denied in the Icee Chugging Contest. No matter the cost.

No. Matter. The. Cost.#BrainFreeze #AutoZoneParkFun pic.twitter.com/swg1LMPP4P

— Memphis Redbirds (@memphisredbirds) June 11, 2017

I am not going to sit here and pretend that I didn't laugh when that kid realized that his oversized melon was paralyzed by the pain of the expedited ingestion of a sugary frozen beverage, so I'm not going to discourage you from doing so either. However, let's make one thing very clear - what we all inevitably laughed at was nothing short of child abuse. That poor ginger is about 8 dozen bouts with brain freeze away from accepting it's existence, and some minor league ball club exploited his child-like innocence (i.e. negligence) for mid-inning entertainment.

Now, I don't think that temporarily feeling like you're going to turn to stone has any lasting effects on kids or my parents could have taken '7-Eleven' to court before I hit middle school. Still, the Memphis Redbirds took advantage of children by giving them free treats, and - whether there was a nondescript van present or not - I'm pretty sure that's universally frowned upon. That doesn't make this particular scene unfunny, but I speak for ever person that used to be stupid, stubborn brat that repeatedly saw their short life flash before their eyes after drinking a slurpee in seconds when I say that this was just plain mean. 
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