The Kid Who Kicked a 55 Yard Game Winning FG For South Carolina Needs To Live A Little
What a waste. What a goddamn waste. Seems like this 55 yard game winning field goal couldn't have come from the leg of a nicer kid, and that means it will undoubtedly result in a host of squandered opportunities. A long weekend following a come-from-behind season opening win in which this senior was the hero and his postgame plans are to PLAY GOLF?!? Potentially the single most exciting thing that will ever happen in this dude's life and he's going to celebrate it by trying to BRING DOWN HIS HANDICAP?!?
To each his own I suppose, but I can't help but feel like this kid owes it to every field goal kicker who came before him to milk this moment for every last drop of praise, booze, and sex that it's worth. He needs to respect those that didn't leave their dormitory for days after missing soul-crushing kicks that let down entire student bodies and engage in every act of debauchery that is presented to him. He's plays in the SEC, after all. Fuck straightening out his intermediate iron game, there will be plenty of time for that in retirement. What there won't be another time for is demanding a round of applause simply by walking in a room. Receiving unlimited free drinks and bedding co-eds that are out of your league with one swing of the leg is strictly a collegiate custom. Don't let me down Elliott. Don't let any of us that never had the chance to get a walk around campus like the cock of the walk down. Play your cards right and
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