The Lakers Pitch To Paul George Reportedly Contains The Type Of Poem You'd Expect To See Written In Crayon By A 3rd Grader
SI- An apparent recruiting pitch was leaked to SI.com's Robin Lundberg and it is in form of a voiceover the Lakers plan on using with video.
A person contacted to potentially audition for the voiceover was given directions that it should be "less Morgan Freeman/Denzel Washington, and more Jamie Foxx."
The pitch entitled "Two Dreams" makes hints about who the pitch is for.
The text reads:
When you were just a kid
In your room
Dreaming from Palmdale
We were dreaming too.
While you dreamt, we built - built for your arrival
And while we dreamt, you built too
Becoming one of the world's greatest.
Life's most powerful dream are the one we realize ourselves.
The ones that turn us into legends.
That kid from Palmdale always knew it
Now the world will, too
And in the shortness of a poem so amazingly uninspiring that it would have to be delivered by some of the greatest narrators of our time for it to so much as keep its audience awake, we are reminded of exactly why every other team wishes the worst and nothing but the worst on the Los Angeles Lakers. Not only because they think their pitch/plea to Paul George is somehow too good for the vocal stylings of Morgan Freeman, but because their pitch/plea was hotter garbage than anything festering curbside in the Southern California sun and could still very easily prove successful.
Just read that bum ass ballad that featured more imagination and construction than a season of 'Bob The Builder' and tell me the Lakers aren't the NBA equivalent of the hot chick who never had to develop a personality to attract attention. There are more writers in Los Angeles than there are fake breasts, and a little ditty that would get no better than a 'C' from any English teacher who is worth his/her salary was the best they could do?
If the world were at all just then Paul George would turn down a max deal from his self-important hometown team on the grounds that their lackadaisical effort in wooing him was an insult to his level of education, literature as a whole, and spoken word. Instead, we're left wondering if he'll be able to help herd the G.O.A.T. when/if he falls for a half-assed anecdotal tale of inspiration that would only get a rise out of Disney writer's room so that they could properly express their displeasure by stomping on the script. Here's to hoping PG-13 doesn't get suckered in by a 'PG' plot line, for a man named 'Magic' should at least have to pull a couple rabbits out of his hat as opposed to falling back on regional fame and fortune.
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