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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

The Lineman Whose Junk Fell Out While Running The 40 Yard Dash Is Getting Sent A Year Supply Of Free Underwear

3/7/2016

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TMZ-  By now you've seen the video ... the big DT from Mississippi State had a little mishap during his 40 ... falling flat on his face ... and flashing a little (not really) frank & beans in the process.

Well PSD underwear wants to make sure that never happens again ... and President Curt Flaitz tells TMZ Sports they plan to keep Jones' boys snug ... by sending him some testicular backup.

“I reached out to Chris Agent and I am sending him a year worth of PSD Underwear today“

PSD is a big deal in the sports world ... the company is owned by NBA stars Jimmy Butler, Chandler Parsons and Kyrie Irving.




First of all, what the fuck is a "year's worth" of underwear? You send me a couple pairs of underwear and only way they are lasting one single year is if they self destruct - like every clue that Inspector Gadget ever got - after 365 days. Unless I literally transform into a pregnant woman I am seeing the life of my undergarments through to the bitter, bitter end, and usually that isn't until at least 5 years down the road. I want nothing to do with living in a world where we put expiration dates on our boxer briefs, and I like to believe we will never reach that point, no matter what PSD has to say about it.

More importantly, this is just another reminder that being a professional athlete is the best. As if the inevitable 6-7 figure salary wasn't enough, now these guys get to avoid purchasing their own underwear when their penis falls out in public. Underwear shopping sucks and this guy doesn't have to do for the foreseeable future because he went full frontal in front of a stadium full of scouts. My dick falls out at a preliminary job interview and I am catching a case. An NFL hopeful's dick falls out in front of his potential employers and he gets showered with one of the most underrated gifts of all time. This guy lets his snake loose in the grass and instead of people turning away in fear companies are doing their best to cage it free of charge. If only life was this easy for everyone. The list of places I wouldn't put my dick for some free underwear is exponentially smaller than the places I would put it. Unfortunately that doesn't matter because my dick is attached to someone that's clocking in at over 5 seconds in the 40 yard dash, and doesn't stand any chance of wiggling it's way out of compression shorts. 
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