The Lions Twitter Account Wishing Kyle Van Noy Happy Birthday 3 Months Late Is So Perfectly Detroit Lions
I'm not going to lie to you, I am mildly interested in the back story here. I don't know - or particularly care - who is in charge of the Detroit Lions twitter, but I need to find out how he was a quarter of a year late on wishing a rostered player a happy birthday. I mean, he ( or she I guess) wasn't even close. Wrong month AND wrong date?!? Can you even call something an "accident" if it requires that much pure, unadulterated negligence? Sure, I forget people's birthdays all the time, but that's why I never even try to get them right. I'm not even sure this is true, but I like to believe that ignoring the anniversary of someone's arrival onto this planet is less disrespectful than congratulating them on it without even caring enough to double check that you got the day right.
More importantly, you know that first thought that went through Kyle Van Noy's head was "how, out of all the teams in the NFL, did I end up on the one that can't even properly run a twitter account?". This was just a stark reminder that he's trapped on the Detroit Lions and he'll have a one way, non-expiring ticket to the laughing stock as long as he continues to be. I'm sure he's glad he has a well paid job doing what he loves, but you have to believe he wishes it was with an organization that was capable of completing simple, kind gestures without unintentionally insulting their employees. If I were him I would just work extra hard, become one of the best players at my position, and then retire early. I'm pretty sure that's how things work in Detroit. He's only a couple of All-Pro nominations away from calling it quits and having people remember the correct season in which he was born.