The Man Who Killed His Father With Chopsticks Has A Pretty Hard Sell On His Hands

DailyMail-  A Japanese man who stabbed his elderly father to death with a 30cm chopstick has been arrested.

Michikazu Ikeuchi admitted he had stabbed his father in the throat with the long wooden chopstick when a fight broke out in their Osaka home.

But local police said the 51-year-old man told them he did not mean to kill his father.

An Osaka police official said: ‘Ikeuchi told us he had tried to stop his parents from arguing and he did not intend to kill his father.

‘He said in his anger he waved the chopstick in front of his father but before he knew it, it got stuck in him.’

It is understood the man, who lives with seven people including his parents and his brother’s family, called emergency services after the incident.

Chopsticks have been a staple utensil in Japan since 500AD with the Japanese the first to create the now popular disposable set which are made of bamboo or wood. 



This really begs the question, are chopsticks actually good for anything? They make eating anything other than sushi exponentially harder, and they make you look like a damn fool when you use them to kill your father and try to play it off as an accident. Not saying that listening to your parents fight won't make you want to put an eating utensil in both their windpipes, but when that eating utensil is made out of bamboo and hardly capable of piercing skin then it makes your claim that it was a mishap look a tad bit disingenuous. I guess my point is that killing someone with a chopstick is always an intentional act simply due to the sheer amount of strength, will, and perseverance that it takes to do so. I'm not even absolutely certain that I could lodge a chopstick in someone's neck without a cycle or two of HGH and an induction of roid rage. At the very least I would have to go out of my way to shave it down into a shank before I even felt comfortable enough to attempt it. Pretty sure it's frowned upon to kill your dad and try to get away with it no matter what the situation, but if you're going to use the contents of your kitchen then it might be best to Americanize them first.