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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

The NHL Would Have Been Better Served Not Even Fining Brandon Prust For Spearing Brad Marchand In The Junk

12/8/2015

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Puck Daddy- Brandon Prust was fined $5,000 by the NHL’s Department of Player Safety for his spear on Brad Marchand of the Boston Bruins Saturday night.

What did he think of the punishment? “Best money I've ever spent,” he joked with the media on Sunday, via Sportsnet, also saying he wasn’t trying to injure Marchand and was just expressing some frustration.

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Late in the third period, with the Bruins ahead 4-0, Prust was skating away from the puck near the top of the Canucks’ zone when he cup-checked Marchand, who stayed the game.


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I know spearing someone in the balls is wrong. You know spearing someone in the balls is wrong. I'm sure even Brandon Prust knows that spearing someone in the balls is wrong. So when the NHL, who has vehemently cracked down on player safety, only gives a player a $5,000 fine for spearing someone in the balls it's almost a certainty that the player getting speared is Brad Marchand. I actually like the way Marchand gets under the opponent's skin, but let's face it, he's one of the biggest embellishers in the sport. That's why Brandon Prust basically got a slap on the wrist, and that's why he thinks said slap on the wrist was the best money he's ever spent.

A $5,000 dollar fine was basically the NHL's way of saying "we don't really want to discipline you, but by rule we kind of have to". You realize that asking a professional hockey player for a couple thousand dollars in return for him giving someone he hates a cup chuck is like asking the average citizen if he would pay a dollar to punch his worst enemy in the dick without repercussion? That's a 'yes' every single time. Of course that's the best money Brandon Prust has ever spent. Relatively speaking, it basically cost him pennies to take out his frustrations on the manhood of an opponent he detests. Sure, he just said it to mock Brad Marchand, as well as the NHL's measly punishment, but that doesn't mean it's not also a fact. $5,000 to potentially take away an enemy's ability to reproduce is like one of those trades that's such a steal that you turn your phone off for a day after you make it. Why not ask someone who won the lottery if buying the ticket was worth it? After all, it's essentially the same question. In a way, I think the NHL would have been better off not fining him at all. The fact that it ended up being at paltry as it is sets a terrible precedent for players that decide to stab each other in the junk going forward. Sure, Marchand probably instigated, and I have no doubt that he deserved what he got, but refusing to punish Prust any further is just going to cause the NHL more headaches down the road. You don't want players going around thinking they can castrate each other for a percentage of a percentage point of their yearly salary. That's not beneficial for anyone other than all high quality urologists in NHL cities.
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