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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

The Padres And Rockies Got Attacked By Bees, And They Handled It Way Too Professionally 

3/31/2017

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Picture

Well this is something you don't see everyday □ pic.twitter.com/W9PEdHW8dK

— San Diego Padres (@Padres) March 30, 2017

I have a question. Is this standard protocol? I kinda figured that my strategy of flipping the fuck out when confronted with more than one stinger wasn't exactly by the book, but is "stop, drop, and pray" something that's actually taught? Even if it is, I admire the calmness with which the Padres and Rockies stuck to it. A bunch of grown men laying on their stomachs to avoid insects is a funny visual, but not nearly as hilarious as the frantic sprint I would have engaged in if presented with the same situation. I don't know if the camera makes it look worse than it was but - based on my rough estimation - there were about six billion bees on that field, and they would have had me running with the elegance of the first dead white girl in a horror flick. I'm not even kidding. That pitcher must have nerves of steel, because if I were him I have hopped the outfield fence and went full 'Forrest Gump" all the way back to San Diego. The end of spring training could suck my dick if meant falling victim to a scene out of a low budget movie with a shitty plot.
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