The Phillies Got Gifted A Run When The Pirates First Baseman Got Mesmerized By A Flying Louisville Slugger
This - right here - is why 162 games are simply too damn many. You know why? Because it's not every day that Josh Bell sees a baseball bat get sent into orbit, but it's basically everyday that he stands at first base during the dog days waiting for something fucking interesting like that to happen.
I know that professional athletes get paid millions of dollars so they should be more wary of the game they are playing. However, since that game is played daily throughout the summer months I can kind of understand getting caught looking at a piece of lumber heading towards the unsuspecting face of a fan in the 25th row during the 3rd inning of a mid-July contest between two crappy teams. You do that much monotonous work and you're bound to get caught daydreaming once awhile. It's not always going to result in a laughable error in which the ball zings right past your chin as you like up into the sky like you've just seen a pretty butterfly, but - speaking from the perspective of the casual, unbiased viewer - it's a hell of a lot more hilarious when it does.