The POst Relationship Aftermath Of The Jimmy Graham Trade Is Going To Make Me Resent Him

Jimmy Graham being traded to the Seahawks is like if you were dating a girl and then after the breakup she went off and start fucking one of your worst enemies. Now granted, this wasn't a free agency situation, so like most relationships, the Saints still only have themselves to blame. I will tell you this though. It doesn't make it hurt any less. Seeing him in that shitty EDM style NFL jersey makes my goddamn skin crawl. 

Unfortunately, we live in 2015, and in the infamous words of Neil Sedaka, "breaking up is hard to do". He had no idea how much more correct he would become with the developments of technology. Out of sight, out of mind was a fun concept in the 90's. You know, before that whole internet thing came along. Now, it's a social media sight here, a social media site there. Follow her? Don't follow her? Who knows what the right answer is? All I know is seeing Jimmy Graham having a grand old time with that turd Russell Wilson is like seeing pictures of an ex on vacation with her new boyfriend. I'm not jealous, because as is always the case, the new boyfriend (Russell Wilson) is a total square. However, part of me dies inside every time I envision someone else enjoying the eroticism of Jimmy Graham catching touchdown passes. That's supposed to be my pass dropping, oft injured tight end. Not Seattle's. Not fucking Russell Wilson's. 

Listen I am sure Graham feels more secure in his new home, but don't you dare tell me he's happier. Not when he came from the greatest city in the world. Not when his new quarterback is a pretentious choir boy. He's like the girl that goes from dating a bunch of exciting bad boy types to settling with an older accountant that tucks his shirts into his jeans, listens to classic rock and doesn't know the difference between a joke and a pun.  Enjoy Seattle Jimmy, because only Russell Wilson's best friend God can help you now. I don't mean to rain on your parade, but any parade that happens in Seattle is bound to get rained on, though I don't see one being scheduled there for a long, long time.