The Rhetoric That New Jersey Has The Worst Drivers Is Asinine

For starters, there is an alternate name for this blog. The secondary title would be "People From California Are Borderline Retarded In A Motor Vehicle". I figured I would take the classy way out and compliment my hometown instead of insult my new town. Regardless, saying that New Jersey has the worst drivers is simply not true. I'm not saying we aren't assholes. I am not saying that we don't drive like it. Hell, the New Jersey Turnpike is like real life NASCAR. It's a miracle that more people don't meet their demise on that death trap. Jersey drivers spend 90% of the time with their front end fucking the car in front of it right in it's exhaust pipe. But that's the point, we may be disrespectful drivers, but we are not bad drivers. Jug handles, traffic circles, obnoxious amounts of merging. If people from New Jersey were subpar behind the wheel the entire state would constantly be a 6,000 car pileup. We put so many goddamn unnecessary obstacles in the road it's a miracle that things generally operate smoothly. There is a stigma attached to New Jersey drivers and it is that we basically drive like we have blinders on both sides and we only have regard for ourselves and not others around us. That stigma is 100% earned. New Jersey driving is like grade school math when the teacher wants you to show your work. Only problem is that most of time you have no idea what you did, you just know that it fucking works. 

For as much as New Jersey drivers use their hypothetical blinders, I am pretty sure people in California are wearing actual blinders. I truly do not understand it. I have been here a month and have seen at least 20 potentially fatal crashes. Seriously, smoke more weed California, smoke more weed. Is it too nice out to pay attention to the road? I would say that's the answer, but one single drop of rain is like dropping a bottle of alcohol into a club full of guidos. The result is just a clusterfuck of uncontrollable and unnecessary violence. There are actually people in California that avoid driving when it's raining out. That is the most vaginal thing I have ever heard. I'm pretty sure my first time behind the wheel was during a thunderstorm unlike any SoCal has ever seen. If I am simply looking out for my personal safety, I'll take a bunch of old Asian women from New Jersey instead of a bunch of 20-somethings from California. These people don't even get in normal car crashes. I live in a beach town and I have seen 3 crashes in which a car was embedded into the side of another car AND facing the wrong way in the last 3 days. One of which was a parked car. What's the California driving test like? Turn the car on without having a seizure and you pass? It's like real life bumper cars. Shit, at least in New Jersey people have regard for their own lives. No wonder so many people out here have bikes, getting behind the wheel is like a 50% chance of survival. I feel like people just put a destination in the GPS, turn on the cruise control, say a prayer, and start non-stop texting. Hey, New Jersey may not house the nicest people in the world, but at least you're not constantly in danger of death by vehicular homicide. I appreciate you Jersey drivers, and all your 'fucks', honks, and selfishness.