The Seahawks And Cardinals Were So Bad That They Made The Colts Feel Good About Themselves

Feels good to have the □ on your team... □ #SNF pic.twitter.com/PX9WgEgvPp

— Indianapolis Colts (@Colts) October 24, 2016

For shame Seattle. Someone give Arizona's wrist a hard slap. Do they even see what they have done?! Forget subjecting the decreasingly viewing public to 5 complete quarters of offensively offense-less football, because doing so in such impressively incompetent fashion that they made it okay for one of the worst teams in the entire NFL to pat themselves on the ass is the true travesty here. Do you know how shitty two teams have to perform for a decidedly worse team to decide that it's a good time to brag about their middle-aged kicker? I love Adam Vinatieri as much as the next guy, but when he's your franchise's claim to fame then you're a team that probably shouldn't do too much thumping of your chest.

Yet somehow, someway, last night's game was so pathetic that I agreed with the Colts social media director's decision to do so. Who cares that Indianapolis' defense is so mind numbingly bad that they transformed Brock Osweiler's bum ass into a clutch quarterback capable of double digit 4th quarter comebacks? Doesn't even matter that the benefit of the doubt that has been granted to their overrated starting quarterback is as overgrown and unwarranted as his neck beard. When fate forced that second chip shot field goal to sail so far in the wrong direction that you'd swear it was using Christopher Columbus' compass, there wasn't a single invested fan that didn't get at least a slight undeserved lifting of their spirits. Considering it ended in a tie both teams did get something out of it, but it was everyone else without a rooting interest that felt like the real winner. Ineptness that's so unsightly that it actually becomes compelling has seemingly become the NFL's formula for success. That must make last night's game the pinnacle of the sport, because sucking so hard that it makes the goddamn Colts feel cocky enough to grab the back of your head while you do so is rock bottom.