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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

The Seahawks Tested Fate, And Fate Murdered Their Punter

12/16/2016

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The #Seahawks run a perfect fake punt, but Jon Ryan bobbles the ball, takes a massive hit and stays down. He's headed to the locker room pic.twitter.com/EWmSXoN2AI

— Chat Sports (@ChatSports) December 16, 2016
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First and foremost, I want to be the first to say that I hope Jon Ryan woke up this morning with nothing more than a massive headache. As we have all blissfully ignored until about 5 years ago, concussions are a very real concern. The Seahawks punter - that didn't have enough clout to respond to his coach's fake punt call when up 21 with 5 minutes left against a hapless opponent by telling him to blow it out his ass - never deserved to be put at risk of that danger. Not just because it was a clear violation of sportsmanship, but because that big of a violation of sportsmanship was bound to tempt the universe into action.

I don't even think Jon Ryan fumbled that ball because he has limited athleticism and was likely too worried about the urine running down his leg as he took off down the middle of a field surrounded by a bunch of dudes that could bench press him with one hand without a sideline to serve as his guardian angel. I think he fumbled that ball because the football gods swooped down and peanut punched it out from under his arm simply to send a very distinct message to Pete Carroll. Pretty certain that message read "hey, could you maybe stop being a dickhead now?". I usually don't have a problem with burying a division rival in salt as they are bleeding out all over the field, but picking on the Los Angeles Rams is straight up bullying at this point. I mean, that team couldn't come back from down three touchdowns if they were spotted two touchdowns, two field goals, Mike Martz, and Isaac Bruce. I am definitely not saying I'm glad that Jon Ryan's tip drill resulted in him getting clocked into another time zone, but I am saying that it was basically karma once he obliged to his coach's wishes by taking a leak on a corpse. 

​P.S. Top 5 picture of the year....
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