The SEC Congratulated Derrick Henry On His Season, But Not Before Photoshopping His Tattoos Off

Congratulations, DERRICK HENRY, the 2015 SEC Offensive Player of the Year. #RollTide https://t.co/hYvG2p71gl pic.twitter.com/mnp9rew1Nn

— SEC Sports (@SEC) December 9, 2015

It must be really hard being an overly conservative, old white male working for the NCAA. Sure, you are making money hand over fist off the hard work of young underpaid employees, but that's just the business model of every corporation in his country. Unlike other corporations, however, you have to worry about those young underpaid employees representing everything you vehemently oppose. For instance, an individual's right to express themselves freely. With society as liberal as it's ever been, that's got to be one of the most time consuming careers a person can have.

I consider myself a college football fan. I watched an Alabama game or two this year. Never did it even cross my mind that Derrick Henry had tattoos. If you asked me before I saw these pictures, I couldn't have definitively told you whether or not he was a supporter of body art. That's probably because I couldn't care less either way. Some crusty old white guy with his pants up to his nipples doesn't have that luxury. He has to scour every social media post making sure that it doesn't contain something that could tarnish the NCAA's antiquated brand like a personal message written in ink on a running back's bicep.

You think that's easy? I got perfect eyesight and I can barely make out 90% of tattoos on black athletes. Never mind some stubborn old white dude that still refuses to put any of his millions of dollars towards getting lasik surgery. I bet he can't even get a good night's rest after squinting at a computer screen all day trying to find aspects of a player's image that are in need of adjustment. That's just a little thing we call sacrifice. Granted, being detail oriented isn't exactly my thing, but I cant imagine seeing something like the tweet above, pre-photoshop, and having the first thing that caught my eye be the ink on a Heisman candidate's arm. Fuck the intricacy of tattoos, picking them out from afar in the real art. Concerning yourself with the aesthetic characteristics of every student athlete in America? Other than "earning" a seven figure salary to do so, that's no way to live your life.

​h/t Awful Announcing