The Video Of Joey Porter's January Arrest Will Make You Respect Your Local Bouncers

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All in all? Nothing too surprising here. If we are being totally honest, I expected much, much worse from an incident outside of a bar that resulted in a local linebacking legend getting charged with aggravated assault in a football town. I'm not condoning his conduct because he was certainly the one that escalated what appeared to be a pretty amicable situation, but when you hear Joey Porter got arrested in Pittsburgh prior to a playoff game the mental picture you are left with is splattered with at least a little blood. I'll stop short of praising him for trying to intimidate a bouncer with an amount of finger pointing and close talking that would make a boot camp instructor say "enough already", but I am happy to see that a volatile human being showed at least a little restraint after repeatedly being told "no" by one ballsy ass bouncer.

Seriously, if anyone deserves real credit here it's the guy manning the entrance at 'Flats'. We have all had at least one "you're just a doorman...DOORMAN!" moment. Even if we didn't say it out loud, we certainly thought it while temporarily being roped off from an experience that - 9 times out of 10 - ends up being way more underwhelming than we originally perceive. If you haven't felt frustrated by some dude doing his job by restricting your fun then you are probably a young, attractive female that buys clothes that are one size too small, but the rest of us are used to being denied by bouncers that treat us like we are anxious children at the amusement park. 

That's why it's good to see that the profession isn't entirely made of part-time bullies. I thought that a few extra inches, a couple of gratuitous bulking seasons, some rough high school years, and an authority complex was all that was holding me back from a bouncing gig. I couldn't have been more wrong, because there is no amount of additional muscle mass that would have me standing my ground while Joey Porter was misting spit across the side of my face. Even before the cop showed up, the man in the blue hat was nose-to-nose with the only person in Pittsburgh that could handle being James Harrison's sparring partner. Turns out that every so often being given the gift of discretion can be just as thankless of a job as it can be an empowering one.