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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

The Vikings Social Media Team Got A Little Fecal While Getting Ready For Their Game Against The Cardinals

11/21/2016

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HA! A bird getting shit on by a person! Get it, because birds usually shit on people? GENIUS!

And somewhere in NFL headquarters, Roger Goodell just let out a sigh of relief. This simply has to be the type of thing he was looking to see when he banned teams from engaging their followers using despicable things such as their own goddamn highlights. After all, he basically forced professional organizations to illicit the help of poop jokes for their online interactions with all the endless amount of penalties he's set in place to shield children from all the evil air-humps of the world. I would have to imagine that ironic, disrespectful claymations that resort to bathroom humor are just elementary enough for his liking. This does a perfect job catering to the all important kids whose innocence has been compromised by the PG-13 celebrations of NFL players. Hopefully watching a Play-Doh Viking drop a discolored deuce on an overly cheerful, unsuspecting cardinal will make our youth forget about all those sexually suggestive dances and the excessive violence of the sport in which they take place. Stuff like this should serve as a hell of a distraction as Luke Kuechly is getting carted off the field looking like he just had a decade cut off his lifespan. And to think, it likely wouldn't have come to fruition if the NFL didn't want to keep all eyes on their own thoroughly monitored account that would never post anything that needed a 'Parental Advisory' warning. 
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