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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

The World Wife Carrying Championships Sound Like The Least Desirable Sporting Event To Ever Partake In

7/7/2015

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Picture
Mirror- The Wife-Carrying World Championship has been held - with the lucky winner taking home the weight of the winning wife in beer.

Held in Sonkajärvi, Finland, the event, which is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year, took place in pouring rain but despite there were still 60 couples taking part, coming from 14 countries.

There are plenty of real athlete-types competing, but there's a sense of fun too, with wacky costumes everywhere you looked.

The championship lasted two days, with a sprint race, team race and the main event on the 253.5 metre course.



Whatever happened to the separation between sport and marriage. I don't know about you, but every married guy I know does physical activities to get out of the house, not bring the 'house' with him. Whether that be in the form of recreational sports or going to the gym, mostly it's just a ploy to get some alone time or share beers with friends. When your sport of choice is wife carrying that seems to kind of defeat the purpose of engaging in sport at all. I think I would rather race someone in skydiving without wearing a chute. This is basically all the negatives of having a female backseat driver except now it includes physical exhaustion as well. Remember the last time your wife incessantly yelled at you to make a left at the light? Now imagine that but far more whiney, with the person giving the directions being someone that is not only causing you physical anguish, but mental anguish as well. 

Not to mention it's a two day race. How long do you think the average wife lasts before she gets "tired" and wants to go home? Maybe 2, 3 hours? Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse you are stuck carrying someone that no longer wants to be carried. There isn't enough free beer in the world to make an experience that traumatizing worth it. Say you do win, you get 110(ish) pounds of free beer that your wife inevitably doesn't want to make room in the house for. Say you lose, you think the sniveling anchor draped over your shoulders is going to accept any responsibility? Nope, any household failures are the patriarch's responsibility, even if the patriarch is carrying the matriarch's non-cooperative love handles around a 253 meter course.


P.S. I'll believe in feminism when there is a 'Worldwide Husband Carrying Championship'.
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