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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

The Yahoo CEO Made A Funny...About Her Employee's Job Security

1/21/2016

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NY Post-  That was the creepy message Yahoo! boss Marissa Mayer had for employees at a companywide meeting earlier this month, drawing nervous chuckles from workers who fear for their jobs, sources told The Post.

“She said there are going to be no layoffs ‘this week,’ and many of the employees laughed at her,” said one insider, who, fearing retribution, asked not to be named.

“This is the reason employee morale is so low,” the insider added, noting that most workers took the scary remark as twisted confirmation that Yahoo!’s embattled chief executive is sharpening the ax.

Word of the gaffe has been “spreading like wildfire” through Silicon Valley, another insider said, calling it the latest example of a chronically tone-deaf CEO in a crisis.

Indeed, some in the audience laughed precisely because “she wasn’t trying to be funny,” according to the second source. “She was trying to make us believe it.”



​Uhhhh, at least she's honest? I think we at least have to give her that. The old sense of humor could use some tinkering, but she's not a liar. That's more than can be said for most CEO's. I am not saying that I would want to work for this sadistic bitch, but I am pretty sure that's exactly what makes her the perfect type of person to run a successful company. Well, the word "successful" might be a little disingenuous considering we are talking about a company that's laid off like 25% of their work force, but I have it on good authority that's not a reflection of her ability to do her job. Let's face it, the only way to get the most out of your employees is too scare them into thinking that they could shortly become unemployed-ees. Morale be damned as long as it's coming at the expense of productivity. If you want a fun work environment then send that resume on over to Google. This search engine is trying to stay afloat and that means there is no time for fun, games, or situationally appropriate comedy. If you're a good boss then your underlings shouldn't like you. Though I would warn her to maybe be a bit more sensitive, because you also don't want them to shoot you, and nothing screams "homicidal tendencies caused by an unfriendly working environment" quite like the presence of nervous laughter. 

P.S. There has never been a woman in a position of power that was more in need of a good hate fucking than this broad. In fact, the long term prospects of the company are probably completely dependent on her next (first?) orgasm...
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