As soft as toilet paper? Nah. I have used one ply before. Butter soft? Maybe if you threw some Land O'Lakes in the microwave for a minute or two. Marshmallow soft? Eh, at least the marshmallow will push back after there is minimal pressure applied to it. If my pillows were as soft as the current Saints roster I would be taking Rip Van Winkle naps. Just an absolutely disgusting and disheartening effort. After 4 games where they looked fairly good, with mixed results, the Saints regressed into the steaming pile of hot garbage they were in the first 6 games of the season. Not normal hot garbage. Hot garbage that has been sitting in the desert sun for a week. A full trash bag flowing down a river of lava hot garbage. Watching that game today made my retinas burn. It was like watching someone get punched in the dick over, and over, and over again. Unbelievably cringeworthy. In essence, the Saints are a soft, hot, pile of garbage with a bruised dick.
To quote Eminem, "fuck this battle, I don't wanna win, I'm outtie". That's how I feel about this God forsaken team. It looks like it's how the Saints feel about winning this division. They should collectively be taken behind the woodshed and shot in the brain. Shoot 'em again if they are still squirming. Fuck it, 3rd time's a charm. Tied for first in the NFC South. What a fucking disgrace to football. They don't even deserve to be in first place in the NFC Middle East. On behalf of the Saints, I want to apologize to the NFL for being in 1st place. Is it nice to still be able to watch "meaningful" football games while 4-5 (now 4-6). I guess so. If you had asked me before the game I would have said yes. However, as I sat there lifeless in the bar, watching a lifeless team, with a lifeless crowd, I could make a solid case that I would rather just be out of the playoff race. Do I really want to watch meaningful football if that is what meaningful football looks like? How many chances is this Saints team going to get before taking advantage of one of them? I can no longer argue that this team is mediocre, they are so much worse than that. The 49ers and the Bengals, those are mediocre teams. Both have vastly outplayed the Saints, in New Orleans, in consecutive weeks. Andy fucking Dalton. A ginger. Beat to death by a red headed step child. Inexcusable on so many levels.
Bright spots? Zero. They all stink. Maybe it was just the Hudson, but I am pretty sure I could smell the stink from Jersey. New Orleans residents should be walking around in Ebola masks. The SuperDome was basically one huge dutch oven. Expect a massive pink eye epidemic in NOLA. I don't even want to get into the actual instances in which they were mind numbingly bad. I'm aggravated enough just describing the game as a whole. The Saints were so fucking bad that I am actually giving the coaches a pass. Sure they are responsible too, but the love child of Bill Belicheck and Vince Lombardi couldn't have coached that uninspired group of bums to a victory.
The happiest moment of that abortion of a football game was halftime. I was able to watch other teams that had passion and heart play. I watched games that both teams wanted to win. Then the 3rd quarter rolled around around and the Saints trotted out the same half assed effort. After the first drive, there wasn't a single point where the Saints got me excited about watching them play. With that said, they still have a very real shot at the playoffs. They are still the most talented team in the division. That actual makes the last two games that much more frustrating to watch. Wasted talent in a wasted season. I wish this team could show me they deserve to play in the postseason. As of now, whether they actually do or not is irrelevant, because it won't result in anything near a SuperBowl at this rate.
Not it's original intention, but equally as appropriate….