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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

This 9 Year Old Boy That's Being Accused Of Sexual Harassment For Passing Love Notes Needs Relationship Advice

11/13/2015

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ABC13-  A 9-year-old boy is being threatened with sexual harassment charges for sending love notes to his 4th grade crush.

School officials say the boy got in trouble because he sent multiple love letters to the girl, ABC affiliate WFTS-TV reports. One note talked about how the girls' eyes "sparkled like diamonds" while others had hearts drawn on them.

The boy's mother says other students started teasing her son, claiming he wanted to see the little girl naked. That's when school officials called him to the principal's office.

"That's when the principal proceeded to tell me that it wasn't appropriate that he was writing the note and that if he writes another note, they are going to file sexual harassment charges on my 9-year-old," the mother told WFTS-TV.



Just another instance of nice guys finishing last. Now usually nice guys don't end up with sexual harassment charges, especially when they are only 9 years old, but hey, that's the America we live in. The biggest crime in all this wasn't an actual crime at all. The real crime is that this kid was going about it all wrong. Before the principal stepped in this kid had a first class ticket to the friend zone. That's not how you get 9 year old girls to like you. The way to get a 9 year old girl to like you isn't through written word, it's through physical abuse. You have to throw a rock at her, or push her into the dirt. I know the PC police don't want to hear it, but that's the truth of the matter. Girls like assholes, whether they are 9 years old or 30 years old. Since 9 year old boys haven't yet developed the ability to give backhanded compliments they have to give backhanded slaps to the arm.

I will give the school officials this, there is something off about this kid. I don't know what it is, and I certainly don't think he needs to catch charges, but 9 year olds shouldn't willingly sit down and write full on descriptive paragraphs about anything, never mind the girls they fawn over. They should be calling them "stupid" and sticking their tongue out at them. There is nothing remotely sexual about this story, because the kid writing glittery notes has no chance of getting laid by this girl at any point throughout his middle school or high school career. She's going to be banging the kid that spent his formative years calling her ugly. Poor kid needs to stop. Not because his notes are inappropriate, but because they are having the the exact opposite of the desired effect. 
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