You know how people say that when a girl tells you how many people she's slept with you're supposed to multiple it by three, and when a guy tells you how many people he slept with you're supposed to divide it by 3? When I say "they" I really just mean the movie 'American Pie', but you catch my drift. There's a certain science to it, and using that same type of formula I think it's fair to assume that when an unkempt white dude with a Jew fro and his t-shirt tucked into his jeans tells you he has taken acid "a handful" of times then you can probably multiple that ridiculously vague number by about 8-10 fists full of fingers to a get more accurate figure. Especially when he's trying to convince his girlfriend to try it for the first time.
That however, is not the point of this blog. The point is this blog is to acknowledge that taking LSD prior to embarking on the horror that is building IKEA furniture is probably one of moronically brilliant ideas I have ever seen implemented. Hell, maybe reading those mislabeled, poorly worded instructions while high on hallucinogenics can put the person trying to follow them in the same frame of mind as the person that created them. It certainly can't hurt. There's no amount of drugs that a person can take that's going to make the absence of the 179th screw any harder to work around. Might as well get a couple of laughing fits out of the 4 hours you inevitably spend putting together a nightstand that easily could have been just as sturdy without 60% of the "required pieces". In my experience with acid (none), it always appears that the user is having great time. They might not be accomplishing shit, but they seem to have a smile on their face. Well, I have accomplished more writing about how much IKEA sucks than I did the first time I soberly found that to be true first hand, so I might as well be hysterically high the next time I have a cost efficient, time inefficient coffee table to haphazardly throw together.