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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

This Dolphin That Stole A Woman's iPad Straight Out Of Her Hand Did The Lord's Work

8/10/2016

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For Harambe. RT @ABC: Dolphin at SeaWorld grabs woman's iPad right out of her hands while she's taking a picture. pic.twitter.com/CaYnQPEACB

— Anthony (@Ant_Supreme) August 10, 2016
Picture

Obviously this is a win for everyone out there that isn't unnecessarily using an obnoxiously large piece of technology to take pictures and video in public. As anyone that has been to a concert in the last few years can attest, there should be a 10th circle of hell specifically for the people that are metaphorically spitting on Steve Jobs gravestone by assuming that his handheld smart phones don't have the capability of capturing a Kodak moment in high definition. Ol' Flipper over here provided such a service to the rest of the people in the park that I'm torn on whether I think he needs to be airlifted back to his natural habitat as a reward or receive specific training to capture as many iPads as possible. I'm just not sure the rest of porpoises in that pool have the gumption to take over his responsibilities of maintaining human decency via stolen tablet quite yet or I would say he deserves to go the way of 'Willy'. 

All that being said, I couldn't help feel a twinge of sadness as this video came to it's conclusion. No, it's not because society's obsession with technology is depressing. It's because you know damn well that their were no lessons learned. There's just no way in hell that this stupid bitch walked away from an uncovered dolphin exhibit with a saturated Apple product laughing at herself for being dumb enough to get it stolen right out of her hand. No sir. A lady that holds up a pink iPad within reach of the one of the most interactive animals on the planet is a lady that does not accept responsibility for her actions. I couldn't be more certain that this broad - blind to clearly marked warning signs and deaf to the pleading of the staff - marched straight on over to customer service and started demanding she be reimbursed for the damage caused by a marine mammal she undoubtedly branded as a kleptomaniac. Probably pointed just enough fingers and stomped just enough feet to get full reimbursement for their visit plus a couple of free passes out of 'SeaWorld' too, because with the popularity of 'Blackfish' who are they to be shunning entitled customers? That poor dolphin took a stand on behalf of humanity and humanity will likely be no better off because of it. That's what makes me sad. 
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