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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

This Dude Trading His Puppy For A Pair Of Jordan's Makes Perfect Sense

9/11/2015

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There is one shocking aspect of this story, and one shocking aspect only. I am absolutely stunned that the guy who takes selfies of himself at the club, and tries to trade live animals to a shoe company (I think) through Facebook, actually took his dog to get it's shots. Bravo sir, bravo. I got to say I didn't see that one coming.

Hey, I know it seems like kind of a scumbag move to sell your puppy for a pair of sneakers, but this trade is most likely a win for both parties involved. I don't anything about SoleNationRGV, but I know that whoever decides to scoop that dog up off the internet is without question going to be white. Black people do not buy dogs online. I am almost positive that's a factual statement. I'm even more positive that when this does eventually happen, it's going to be the most balanced trade in history. The mark of a good trade is when both parties walk away from the trade feeling like they got the better end of the deal. The black guy who just got a pair of Jordan's in exchange for a thing whose shit he has to clean up daily? Not a doubt in my mind he thinks he won this trade. The (probably) white guy that just traded a pair of Jordan's that he probably wore like 4 times after he bought them in high school during his "ghetto" phase? Couldn't be more convinced that his trading partner is an absolute sucker.

The truth of the matter is there is no winner. In a lot of ways a pair of Jordan's is the black equivalent of a puppy. They cost way too money. They require way too much maintenance. People care for them more than they care for themselves. They dominate the owner's social media account. They become the topic of every conversation the owner becomes a part of. I don't know if true sneakerheads sit there and talk to their Jordan's in an unbearable baby voice, but I'll you what, it wouldn't surprise me if they did. Most black people won't let a dog come within a foot of licking their face, but they'll salivate at the sight of the tongue of their Jordan's sitting at just the right angle. No hate from me. I love dogs and I love Jordan's, so as long as they are each ending up in a loving home then I can support swapping them via the worldwide web.
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