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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

This Election Is Getting More Fun By The Minute: Hillary Clinton Says Black Men In Hoodies Are Scary

7/24/2015

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The Federalist- Add this one to the “imagine if she were a Republican” files: old white lady expresses fear of young black men, political funeral details to come.

During a campaign speech on Thursday, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton touched on race, saying that even “open-minded white people” are sometimes afraid of hoodie-wearing black people.

“I mean if we’re honest, for a lot of well-meaning, open-minded white people, the sight of a young black man in a hoodie still evokes a twinge of fear,” Clinton said.


If this upcoming presidential election was trying to draw in the casual, non-political observer then it's doing a hell of a job. I couldn't give one ounce of a fuck about who our next president is, and I am all-in on these campaigns. First we had Donald Trump basically calling every Mexican a rapist, and now Hillary Clinton is scared of black guys in hoodies. We're like three weeks removed from a Supreme Court decision that completely legalized gay marriage, and the people interested in leading this country sound like they woke up on the wrong side of the Jim Crow era. We are like one live, uncensored presidential debate away from 1960. Be careful how far you set us back Hillary, or not only will you not be able to run, but we'll have to take back those voting rights as well.

"If we're being honest..." should never come out of the mouth of a politician. You know the last time I heard "if we're being honest"? I'm going to say it was probably at brunch after about 10 drinks, and right before I blurted out some extremely offensive shit. That's not your job Hillary. We don't want honesty. Lie to me woman. Lie to me! If we were dealing in honesty we would be talking about how you're only a candidate because the progressive nature of society is trying to force feed us a female president. If we are being honest you only have a realistic shot at the candidacy because you used to take dick from a super powerful old white man. See, honesty is hurtful Hillary. Stick to false promises. Did Bill teach you nothing? Lay off African American people that dress for comfort and get to kissing their babies on the forehead. Shit, Bill would have grabbed a black guy and double-teamed an intern before he even thought about questioning his wardrobe.

Listen, she's not completely wrong with her statement. In the wrong situation, a black man in a hoodie can be scary. Hell, in the wrong situation, a white man in a hoodie can be scary. If you are walking alone through a dimly lit street the fucking Mexican midget from the 'Chelsea Handler Show' in a hoodie could be scary. Maybe her memory is going, but there was a pretty big story surrounding a black man in a hoodie. Remember? It was pretty much the most racially polarizing case at the time. I don't want to put words in her mouth, but I am pretty sure Hillary Clinton just found the most politically correct way to say "Trayvon Martin deserved it". That's what I heard anyway. At this point I am pretty sure the candidate that does the least amount of talking is the favorite to win the presidency. If the alternative is someone that doesn't understand how fragile race relations are in this country then I'll take a mute in office in a heartbeat.


P.S. Whewwww, thank God everyone dressed appropriately...
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