This Girl Was Not Pleased That The Dead Lady At The Bar Was Trying To Kill Her Vibe

Psh, dead people, am I right? They just have no regard for any of us living, breathing folks now a days. Is it too much to ask someone to seize to live elsewhere? Maybe anywhere but the middle of a crowded pub on New Year's Eve. You know how many times I have been crammed dick-to-ass in a packed bar on New Year's Eve with no chance of getting a drink in a reasonable amount of time?That's pretty much an annual occurrence. If that doesn't make you want to die then nothing will. You know what though? I don't die. Not because it wouldn't be the easy way out of a lousy situation, but because I don't want to ruin everyone's fabricated sense of a new beginning as they put on their silly, oversized glasses and make out with strangers. Dead people are nothing more than a buzz kill, and the line at the bar is wayyyy too long to have to get re-drunk on New Year's Eve.

You want to be the bar that caters to dead people instead of throwing them out in the street like every other person that's causing a ruckus? Then you can't be the bar that automatically includes gratuity. That's going to trip up a bunch of drunken buffoons every single time. You want your hands free to load a corpse onto a gurney then you have to take your chances that your paying customers know how to tip the appropriate amount. At the very least the inclusion of an extra charge is going to be worth at least one stupid question from every single table. If you aren't going to answer those questions politely then let me and Holly decide what your service was worth. Last time I checked Kilroy's is a bar and grill, not a hospital and a rehab facility. Customers are there to get loaded on Jameson, not loaded on an ambulance. Stay in your lane Kilroy's, that's the best way to avoid a negative review.

Okay fine, maybe Holly was the only person in attendance that deserved to die that night...

h/t Metro