This Guy Performing A Dunk Showcase At Target Teaches Us A Valuable Life Lesson

Is this corny? Yeah. Is it staged? Absolutely. Is it's premise something every man should learn from? Yup. Shopping sucks. It sucks when you do it by yourself and have a distinct idea of what you need to purchase. Know what's infinitely worse than shopping alone? Shopping with a woman. I would rather discuss my feelings during the SuperBowl than agree to go shopping at the 10th circle of hell during March Madness. Women don't shop out of necessity. They shop because they genuinely enjoy spending money on useless shit. The only things that stop women from shopping every waking hour of the day are closing times and the prospect of spending the entire day alone. Spending more than an hour or two without anyone but their own crazy ass is a woman's kryptonite. The company of another person legitimizes their actions. Being a good foot soldier results in two things, suicidal thoughts and a drained bank account. 9AM Target trip? Don't bring your sunglasses. Unless you throw down your foot, or a plethora of embarrassing slam dunks into a shopping cart, you aren't leaving until it's dark. 

Does a man's presence in any way aide a woman when she is shopping? Fuck and no. Women don't want your opinion on what to buy. They want a 'yes' man. They may as well walk around with you on a leash and yank whenever they want you to nod in agreement. That's why you have to act like a toddler. You have to let the first time you go shopping with her be the last time. It's like when your Dad asks you to mow the lawn. Know the best way for him to never ask again? Do a terrible job the first time. Mom wants you to do the dishes? Let the ketchup settle for a few hours first. You won't even be allowed back in the kitchen. Wife asks you to stop for groceries? Intentionally forget the 'Lean Cuisines'. Think of the ensuing argument as a means to an end, with that end being less responsibilities and more free time. You will have plenty of time to find the most comfortable way to sleep on the couch when you spend the day on it drinking beer and watching college basketball.