This Guy That Drank 6 Pints In Celebration Of Getting A New Job And Woke Up On A Glass Roof Is A Lush

Metro-  Isaac Moore, 27, went out to celebrate getting a new job and woke up with a firefighter next to him.He was found on top of the Grand Arcade in Cambridge on Satruday after having somehow climbed the curved glass roof.

A court heard today that he’d drunk six pints before scaling the building.

He first denied the offence but when police asked if he had caused a public nuisance he said: ‘Yeah, I was found on the roof so I suppose I did.’

He told police he thought it was an overreaction when he was arrested.

His solicitor said: ‘He is very embarrassed and ashamed of his behaviour and in no way does he seek to diminish or minimize the impact of his actions on the public and the emergency services.

‘He had gone out on Saturday to celebrate a new job, clearly he drank too much and has no recollection how he ended up on that roof.’



​I am a lot of things, but I like to believe a hypocrite isn't one of them. That's why I can't, in good conscience, criticize a man for getting too drunk and waking up in a precarious situation. After all, I did go to college and trying to maneuver out awkward circumstances you created for yourself through binge drinking is like 57% of what you learn while you're there. So no, I won't scrutinize him for somehow crawling atop a building and falling asleep on a convex rooftop because he's really more deserving of a round of applause for doing it hammered without falling to his death. That, however,  doesn't mean I won't chastise him for the events that led to him doing so.

I am not trying to sound like a hard ass here, but six pints? The only thing standing between this guy casually celebrating a career advancement and waking up in the most "what the fuck happened last night?" way of all time is 6 pints?!? That's simply unacceptable. You can't live in a place that commonly refers to glasses of beer as 'pints' and become FUBAR-ed by a little more than a handful of them. I'm all for slamming far more brews than necessary and making incredibly poor decisions as a result, but six is just not a high enough number to justify a more dangerous version of a 'Doug' dilemma. I wouldn't know this guy if he was sitting next to me at the bar, but I feel pretty comfortable saying he's an insufferable lush and that's probably why whoever he was celebrating with left him at his own accord once he became "fall asleep on a glass ceiling" shitfaced. There's just no personal accomplishment big enough for his friends to accept responsibility for the well being of drunk Isaac, because drunk Isaac has been prematurely ending nights with his bullshit tolerance since the first time he needed to be carried back to his dorm during college. We all have that friend, and we all just hope he survives because the frustration associated with making sure he survives isn't worth blowing our buzz.