One of two things happened here. Either this dude was afraid of the ball - which is inexcusable considering the protective helmet he's got on - or he was too embarrassed to look stupid putting a full effort into fielding a grounder and still failing to corral it. That's why I have a little breaking news for him...
Hey kid, you've been entrusted with passing out souvenirs to fans under the age of 6 and they didn't even feel comfortable letting you do so without headwear. You can't possibly look more silly than you do riding the pine in full uniform so you might as well take your father's age old advice and get your knees dirty by squaring up the ball. (Cue second 'Major League' reference in two days) As fictitious Indians Manager Lou Brown once said, "C'mon Dorn, get in front of the damn ball, don't give me this oleeee bullshit!". You want to act like a ball player for a day then act like a damn player and at least pretend your trying to cleanly field a solidly hit ground ball. At least pretend you were listening to your friend's parent when he was repeating the first line from Page 1 of 'Coaching Baseball 4 Dummiez' when you were younger. Even the mic'd up 'Little League World Series' coaches heading out to the mound to tell their kids they love them would have an expletive or six for that lousy ass effort. In my opinion you deserve all the ruthless mocking at the hand's of major leaguers that they see fit so keep those arms crossed and try not to get too embarrassed because that's what got you into this whole mess in the first place...
Leave a Reply.