This J-Crew Ad Isn't As Bad As Originally Thought, But It's Still Pretty Goddamn Stupid

So that's the ad that originally leaked and, well, you don't need too much of a sense of history to know that's probably not the best way to brand your company. Anyway, shortly after it was cleared up that the actual ad looks a little something like this...

Better. Actually, much better. Unquantifiably better. With that said, Why? Why J-Crew? Why make an ad that is literally a thumb nail away from promoting slavery? Of course someone is going to put their finger over it. Of course it is going to go viral. Of course people are going to believe it, it's the internet for fuck's sake. Don't these million dollar companies have entire teams dedicated to public relations? Fire them J-Crew. You can hire me as the 'Don't Do That' guy. I'll only command 10% of what you are paying them, and I'll be 90% more efficient. How bad do you have to be at addition to not understand what 'black guy' plus 'own' equals? Two second look, one "don't do that", and they could have saved themselves from a couple hundred thousand people jumping to conclusions. 

Almost feel like they put 'WE OWN THEM' in SIGNIFICANTLY bigger font on purpose, right? Think about all the moving parts that have to come together perfectly to get an ad this stupid without trying. Probably the only black guy that has worked for J-Crew ever, the ridiculously bold font, and a terrible slogan that only mildly makes sense anyway. This has got to be an 'any publicity is good publicity' situation. A little public backlash to remind the people that the new line is out?  Why else? "Stripes: We Own Them" makes "What Can Brown Do For You?" look like the most creative wordplay since the last good Eminem album. No one owns stripes. Stripes look terrible. Look no further than this kid's cringeworthy shorts for evidence of that. It would make more sense if they did own this kid and made him dress like that. Dad sandals? Striped short-shorts? And to top it all off a fucking hoodie tucked into the short-shorts? It's like 'How To Build A Pretentious Dickhead 101'. Hey random black man on the magazine cover, wave if you are being held against your will. Wink twice if they are taking you back to pick cotton for their fall line after this photo shoot. If this kid is getting paid anything less than 10 grand to look like this I feel comfortable calling this slavery. This fucking picture sets black people back further than a fucking white women snaking her way to the head of the NAACP. Rachel Dolezal probably saw this picture and started bleaching her skin back. There are NBA players as postgame press conferences offended by this outfit. 

P.S. If this kid's dick size matched his feet he would easily be popping out the bottom of those nut huggers.