This Jaguars Fan That Thinks They Are Going To "Steal The Show" This Year Just Stole The Show
My favorite part of this interview, you ask? It's a toss up. It's either got to be the part where this woman corrects herself about the location of her Miami beach house, or that brief stutter right before she cryptically says "steal the show". I know what you're thinking, "Those two moments are the only moments that keep this video from being viral perfection". Well, you're exactly right. The fact that this women had a miscue or two is just enough for me to suspend disbelief and accept that she's a real fan and not some actress. This woman is so perfectly "Jacksonville" that I needed to see those slip-ups just to prove to me that she wasn't cast in the role. The leather skin? The voice of a pack-a-day smoker? The beaded necklace? Hair that looks like she has been covered in a thin layer of sweat for the last three years straight? The impulse to refer to the shanty 10 miles off of South Beach that she lived in two decades ago as "my new beach house"? Some ridiculous belief that the NFL has been fixing the Jaguars failures since 1996 in spite of their early success? It's almost too good to be true. Fuck scantily clad women watching the full four quarters from an in-stadium pool, this women is exactly what I want - and expect - out of my female Jaguars fans.
In fact, she sounded so confident that I think I am actually starting to believe that she's not completely delusional. In all likelihood the sun finally roasted her brain, or maybe there is something to this. Maybe the Jaguars haven't sucked since I was under nine years old because the city is a complete dump (even by Florida standards) that no player would ever voluntarily choose to live in. Maybe they've sucked because the NFL will never forgive an expansion team for pushing it to the limit and stealing the show. At this point, can you really put anything past the 'No Fun League'?
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