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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

This Jump Shot Is The Perfect Representation Of John Kasich's Entire Campaign

3/16/2016

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How John Kasich waits for election night results. pic.twitter.com/UTrcsd1qJy

— John Kasich (@JohnKasich) March 16, 2016
And there you have it folks, John Katich's entire platform in a nutshell. He's the mid-range jump shooter of the 2016 Presidential Election. Hillary Clinton is trying to posterize everyone, and people are ignoring that she's a fraud whose leveraging herself off Bill's back to do so because they love dunks. Marco Rubio is the locker room cancer that just demanded a trade because he felt he wasn't being utilized correctly. Bernie Sanders is on some Kobe Bryant-esque retirement tour, and doesn't even really care about his own performance because he's about to ride off into the sunset anyway. Donald Trump is out there launching up Steph Curry-style three pointers that don't come within 10 feet of going in, but he's doing it with Swaggy P-like arrogance and for some reason people can't get enough of the irony.

Meanwhile, John Kasich is sitting just off the elbow consistently knocking down wide open jumps shots. He's efficient and he's fundamentally sound. A soft spoke team player. Maybe averages about 12 points on 55% shooting, grabs about 6-7 boards a game, always makes the smart pass, and never gets any credit for it. That's because politics - much like basketball - have become all about flashiness. Doesn't matter that the ability to do the right thing should be a Presidential staple, because long twos don't get the people going. They'll keep you in the league, but they certainly aren't going to win you any awards. When people talk about the 2016 Presidential Election they'll say "John 
Kasich? Oh yeah, I guess he was a pretty solid contributor". Unfortunately solid contributors don't get the fans out of their seats and into the voting booths. Not in 2016 anyway.
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