This Kid Who Fell Off The Escalator In A Chinese Mall Has The Worst Father Ever

Disclaimer: This kid survived. No really, he did. Must be the Chinese version of Ironman or some shit. Ether way, it make it okay for me to berate everyone else in this video.

Hey China, what the fuck guys? I have seen you guys turn a Godzilla sighting into the stampede scene from 'The Lion King', but a 3 year old plummets a story on to a linoleum floor and you stand around scratching your heads? Was it really that hard to figure out what happened? How about a little urgency for me one time? The confused 6 year old shouldn't be the first one rushing over to help. 

I am glad this kid survived, because he is going to have to be tough as nails to overcome his 'parenting'. I'm going to go ahead and assume the guy going down the escalator at the one minute mark is his father, just because there is nothing that tells me he's not. Hey, uh buddy, maybe want to put a little hitch in that giddy up? I don't think now is the time to demonstrate to your son how to properly ride the escalator. Pretty sure that damage has already been done. If you told me this guy wasn't thinking "oh, fuck this shit, not today" I would refuse to believe you. The first few seconds of that ride down he looked like he was going to get to the bottom, turn right, and continue shopping. Like at some point during the ride he realized "they are going to find out this is my child eventually so I better hurry up and look concerned". This guy is the worst parent in Chinese history, and that includes when they used to throw baby girls in picnic baskets and ship them down the river. 

I will say this. The kid probably has a solid future as the Chinese representative in the X-Games. He can certainly take a bump and he's got no problem being high risk. I would imagine there was no possible way that was going to end well. As much of a pain in the ass I was as a child I don't think I ever tried to ride the hand rail of the escalator face first. Say what you want about him, but he definitely doesn't lack originality. Then again, who knows what I would have done if I had negligent parents that let me turn a two story mall into my own personal 'Chuckie Cheese'.