Girl's trip! Jesus Christ guys, could you maybe give the impression that you're not each other's gay best friend for me one time? I know all four players are either in a serious relationship, or married, or have kids, but maybe act like men that have been let off the leash for at least one picture? Especially if you're going to post a bunch of pictures of you acting like you're at the worst bachelorette party of all time. Four bros on some exotic vacation together and all we get is pictures of them doing a bunch of shit reserved for 10 year olds and gossiping women. Something tells me this was like some kind of overly scheduled, soul cleansing retreat. I can just see them having a group meeting as soon as they get to the hotel room. Chris Paul dishing out assignments. "LeBron, you call and schedule the banana boats, but not too early, we have facials first thing in the morning. Dwayne, you grab us a nice oaky merlot as a night cap, and once Melo gets back from the vending machine we'll put on our Sunday best for dinner!"
"Coming up next on VH1...'Basketball Husbands', featuring a bunch of professional athletes doing exactly the same shit their wives would be doing in a similar scenario!" How many tears do you think were shed at this table? This reeks of a group therapy session, at least to me anyway. Dwayne Wade was probably crying about how the Miami Heat never show him enough respect. Melo was probably bitching about Kristaps Porzingis, even though he couldn't pronounce his name or tell me where he's from if I held a gun to his head and gave him 5 chances. Chris Paul was probably being overly critical of everyone in the group while still unable to understand why DeAndre Jordan signed with Dallas. LeBron was probably passively praising himself and bragging about how he was going to hit the gym before his facial. This vacation looks like a goddamn estrogen-fest. They should have just went all out and invited Drake as their half black, Jewish, Canadian, R&B version of a Mariachi band. He would have fit the atmosphere perfectly. That toast looks like something straight out of 'Marvin's Room'. A little love themed music would have been the perfect backdrop as they passed around the tear cup.
P.S. You think Melo refused to go banana boating because CP3 snubbed him on a 'high 5'?
P.P.S. When you are facing a lot of criticism for being a difficult teammate and driving your All Star center out of town it's a bold move to wear a tee shirt with your own name on it. I still kind of love it though.