This On Scene Reporter's Sign Off Will Have You Staring At Your Ceiling All Night Tonight

‘The morning service began about 20 minutes ago, and there are no obvious signs of any security. In fact, this sign at the church door says “everybody is welcome”.’

‘There are about a dozen worshippers in there and one priest.

​‘If I was a terrorist, I could have killed them all.’



GOO! There's no denying that went from 0 to Robert Durst about as fast as a seemingly innocuous live broadcast possibly could. Kind of makes sense since I wouldn't know on-scene reporter Martin Brunt from the butler hauntingly "finding" all the dead bodies around the mansion during a murder mystery movie. Maybe it's the British accent, but a guy that sounds that casually creepy about mass murder might have the ability to commit it. Not sure what his long term goals are, but he's got a future in playing homicidal maniacs if he wants to take it.

That said, the real blame here doesn't lie with Martin Brunt. He certainly made things worse with a proclamation so chilling that it should have immediately been followed by a crack of thunder and a momentary power outage, but the producer who gave him the assignment is the one I am concerned with...

"Hey Martin, I want you to go peak your head inside every parish within a 15 mile radius and tell the world whether or not they have taken the safety precautions to protect their congregation from an untimely death."

Quite honestly, I don't know how you sign off from that without sounding like you're an ISIS informant. We need an investigation into who is running this newsroom. Does he/she even know how places of worship work? Come on now. I am not even religious and I know it goes 1) church, 2) steeple, 3) open doors, 4) innocent people. Nowhere in that poetic little nursery rhyme are there security guards or metal detectors so maybe, just maybe, we can stop acting like their absence is newsworthy. After all, no one likes a half hearted invite. If you're trying to make your point clear than just ship the radical extremists a pack of ammunition and an address. Either that or fill the airtime with something a little less goosebump-inducing. 


h/t Metro