This Should Go Well, Adrian Petersen And His Wife Looking For Help Naming Their New Baby
BSO- Ashley Peterson said she is due to give birth in October to a boy. She and her husband said fans could send possible names to his Twitter account @AdrianPeterson or her account @MrsAshPeterson.
“We’re still thinking of a name,” said Ashley Peterson, who married the running back last July. “We’ve got a while to think of one.”
Adriaaaaan! Noooooo! Christ Almighty man. You did such a good job of ignoring your children for all these years, and now you want to start being an active father? Now, coming off a suspension for whipping one of your children bloody, is when you want to be proactive in the naming process? Come on AD, as neglectful as you were as a father, that's how forgetful the majority of NFL fans are now. We had already started to think of you as an all-world running back again, instead of a child beating social pariah. Leave it that way. If you remind us you have children then we have no choice but to acknowledge how poorly you have treated them thus far.
Hey, maybe I am wrong. Maybe a bunch of perfectly upstanding citizens on Twitter will be extremely valuable in naming your child. Maybe your mentions won't get abused like one of your kids acting up in an arcade. Maybe, just maybe, a bunch of anonymous people on the internet will finally uphold themselves to a high moral standard. I wouldn't count on it though. Not when you make it this easy, Making a Adrian Petersen assault joke in this situation is like taking candy from a baby...and then hitting it with a switch. The internet is like the last man off an NBA bench in a blowout, if you give them an uncontested layup to end the game they are going to take it every time.
P.S. Name it 'Floyd Mayweather' to remind yourself that he can't be beat no matter how dumb, childish and immature he may be.
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