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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

This Woman Beat Up Her Husband With Nunchucks After he Turned Down Sex

1/23/2016

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Metro- A woman allegedly battered her husband with nunchucks because he refused to have sex with her.Sondra Earle-Kelly, 51, is alleged first to have hurled ceramic figurines at her lover when he refused stop watching TV and go to bed with her.

Then she reportedly grabbed a pair of nunchucks and began to beat him with them.

Police found blood on the walls of the couple’s apartment.

Earle-Kelly, who was also said to have taken a tranquiliser tablets over the course of the evening, has been charged with aggravated domestic violence.
​

She spent the night in a Charlotte, South Carolina police cell.


​When I first read this headline my brain instinctual switched the roles of the two characters in this story. Automatically just thought it was the guy that went full 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' in assaulting his wife. Does that make me a misandrist -or worse- a feminist?!? I don't know, but I do know that I probably wasn't the only person to make this mistake. Mostly because domestic abuse doesn't get a lot of play in the news cycle when the victim has a penis. It's important we remember that men can be suffer from abusive relationships too. That doesn't mean we can't laugh when they do, but maybe we should try to be a little more subtle about it. 

Hey, IF -and that's a HUGE if- there was going to be a form of household violence that I can respect it's a woman nunchucking the shit out of her lazy ass husband. For one, you never deny a sexually frustrated woman in her 50's sex. She's probably menopausal, and therefore even more bipolar and irrational than usual. You have to give her that mediocre senior citizen cock if for no other reason than avoiding the inevitable hassle of not doing so. I don't want to question this guy's masculinity, but sometimes in life you just have to man up. Your wife begging for a good sticking is not only one of those situations, but it's probably the least physically taxing of those situations. There's some poor bastard out there re-shingling his roof because his wife wouldn't shut the fuck up. If this dude wasn't going to fuck his old lady for his own pleasure or her satisfaction, then he should have done it for every man that has ever been nagged into doing something he didn't want to.

​Lastly, pretty admirable weapon of choice. If you are going to attack someone -relatively unprovoked- then it should be with something that is just as likely to cause yourself harm as well. Other than Michelangelo, I have never seen a person properly handle a pair of nunchucks without hitting themselves in the groin. Pretty sure they even put that warning on the back of the TMNT toys. You don't have a wife that can slang 'chucks with the best of them and NOT know that she possesses that skill. She was probably begging for a reason to bust them out of the closet, so I refuse to feel bad for the guy whose lack of foresight gave her a justification to.
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