Gawker- From the Daytona Beach News-Journal comes this very strange, highly concentrated dose of pure Florida: A New Smyrna Beach woman was arrested in an alleged murder-for-hire plot against her daughter’s homeless boyfriend after he alleged gave the daughter’s children lice.
Pamela Vanorsdale, 50, allegedly called her daughter’s ex-husband last Thursday and asked him to “pop” the homeless man, 22-year-old Dylan Loveless, in the head and chest. Loveless had apparently been abusive to Vanorsdale’s grandchildren, choking and chasing them, but when the kids came home with lice, that was the last straw.
The ex told police about her alleged attempt to hire him as a hitman, but she claimed she was “only joking.” Some of the things she was only joking about allegedly included: being able to provide the prospective hitman with a gun, wanting Loveless shot “in the head and chest,” being able to clean and dispose of the gun, and wanting the body dumped in South Carolina. She also “joked” that she could lure Loveless out of his homeless camp with the promise of work.
The plot never went down, though, because Loveless left his camp and Vanorsdale called to postpone until she could find him again.
When it comes to relationships, there aren't many things that I am absolutely certain of. The one thing I do know is that it is your job as a boyfriend to at least attempt to make a good impression on your girlfriends parents. I am not saying you will always be successful. I am not even saying that they will be receptive to you. However, it's the one situation in life where you have to do everything in your power to play nice, regardless of the attitudes of those around you. So while I am not going to sit here and advocate murder-for-hire, I can say that this kids actions around his girlfriend's family, no matter how crazy they happen to be, were criminal.
You can justify a 22 year old being homeless by saying that he's still young and has a bad relationship with his own parents. You can even justify him being abusive to the grandchildren as a little roughhousing gone wrong. But bringing lice in house? That shit could get, scratch that, should get you killed. I have never had lice, but if my children ever do, they are going to be homeless themselves until they figure out how to get rid of them. That's not a minor inconvenience. As far as being a house guest goes, it's a full blown felony. Bringing lice into a house that isn't yours is essentially terrorism, and if you have the means to do so, all terrorists should be executed without due process. Especially if they have plans on exploring a future with your daughter.
P.S. The real question is if this girl's boyfriend has no home, a proclivity towards beating children, and LICE, how bad was her ex-husband? Apparently bad enough to get roped into a murder-for-hire plot with her mother, that's how bad.